upset :(

I’m not going to post any blogs for awhile. I’m upset.

XOXO!

so nervous YET so excited!!!

TUESDAY!!!!

I cannot wait until Tuesday. On Tuesday at 7pm I find out if I make it into this program that I’ve wanted to do since my freshman year of college. I’ve had some doubts about going through the process and waiting for my answer but I know God is going to bless me with something amazing. I feel like it’s in my hands but then in the back of my mind I see someone taking it away. I need to keep my positive mindset and know that God WILL take care of me, always and forever. As long as I lean on him.

I hope the committee sees my passion for teaching and changing every child that I encounter. And I just pray pray pray that I am accepted and get to begin my mission to change the world one child at a time.

Please keep in your prayers. Pray that I maintain a positive attitude and stop doubting what God has in store for me. Also pray that I remain willing to give everything to God instead of trying to do everything on my own.

Thank you!

XOXO!

Be Blessed!

so quick to sign them papers…

I’m ready to sign them papers, papers, papers
(I done took) all I can take but u leave me no options girl
I can’t deny how much I love you, I done gave up everything I had to
as hard as it is I’m affraid I gotta say
I’m ready to sign them papers, papers, papers
(I done took) all I can take but u leave me no options girl

~Lyrics by Usher Raymond IV

If you haven’t heard Usher’s new song, “Papers“, I recommend everyone go hear. Pretty much Usher is talking about how he’s fed up with Tameka and he’s ready force divorce. Radio DJs are even calling this song the break-up/divorce song for 2009.

Sad..right?

Divorce.

I don’t like that word. Divorce is when people realize that they are unwilling to fix the problems between them so they choose to sign a paper and end it all. Or divorce can happen when two people realize they do not actually love each other and are forcing something that shouldn’t be happening.

My parents got a divorce. I’ve tried asking why and my mom just says, “Well your dad changed and I was not willing to accept those changes so we had to go our separate ways. However I will always love him.”

Isn’t marriage supposed to be for better and worse?

And aren’t you supposed to be completely in love with someone before you marry them?

I think people have changed marriage from what God wanted it to be. Maybe that explains why I’m really cautious when pursuing a relationship with someone because if they’re “the one” I want to be completely sure and not have any doubts.

Because in God’s eyes you and the other person (husband/wife) are not  ”divorced” but still married unless your mate dies. (1 Corinthians 7:39-40 if you would like to check my sources)

Be Blessed!

XOXO!

**Let’s try to resolve and go to God with our problems before we decide to sign some papers and cut all ties with the person**

 

growing up :(

The next step after college is probably the scariest part of my life that I’ve faced thus far. I went to a job fair today and I started getting really intimidated because I’m actually having to put myself out there and find a job. AAAHHH! And it’s so competitive. I’m so passionate about teaching and I want to be at a school where there is a high-need for wonderful teachers that can motivate students. Most teachers usually do not want to go that route; but somehow there was a new memo put out and now I feel like every teacher wants to do. I’m like NOOOO you’re still my dream, my passion, my life purpose on this earth!

I’m scared, nervous, whining to God constantly. Thank you Jesus for constantly calming me. I can’t wait til next Tuesday, November 10th to determine what might happen in my future. I’m praying that this is apart of God’s plan for my life BUT who knows we’ll date it one day at a time.

Well I’m off to hmmm..who knows do something productive hopefully!

XOXO!

Be Blessed!

goodbye mr. west

Everyday I’m growing, learning more about myself, and what is best for moi . God teaches me all this daily! Reading my blog from yesterday I’ve become frustrated with my situation between me and one of  my “friends”. I feel like every time I talk to him I’m annoying him and then once again it just goes back to being confusing. Like yesterday he says, “I like you and I miss how it use to be between us.” Inside I’m thinking great I like you too things will be different this time…everything’s going to work out right?? UHHH NO! Complete opposite of that because it’s back to everything being awkward and him not speaking to me, or I feel like I’m annoyance to him…yada yada. So today I was SOOO frustrated and getting tired of the way he treats me at different points in life so I ended it like forever. My text message said: something about my same feelings have returned and I think it would be best if we stopped talking forever. OK, so maybe the end was a little drastic; however, I have to do me and continue what I believe is best for me and apart of God’s plan.

So I’m saying goodbye Mr. West…I wish you the best of luck in your life.

XOXO!

Be Blessed!

kanye confusion

I’m dedicating this post to YOU, Mr. West, you know who you are. I guess you could say we’ve been through a lot. We were really really close friends you were my city of Austin version of my BFF Austin until you told people my business and I could not trust you anymore. We didn’t talk for like what??? two years (something like that) and then with my forgiving heart and I forgave you and we became friends once again. This time it was different though…we were MORE than friends we started liking each other. So we tried talking but things went bad. We were hiding our feelings from each other or something like that I dunno. I’m not sure if I wasn’t the right person for you OR you were just afraid to date someone like me. (Join the club, EVERYONE says…still trying to figure out why) Maybe that’s where we went wrong, maybe we should have kept stayed at the friendship level and not gone any further??? Hmm we’ll never know. Once again I got hurt, because I really liked you and it just ended like that.

And then you came back, and somehow I was able to forgive you again but I was really really cautious this time. Maybe too cautious because things became awkward. Awkward to the point where we’re both confused about what’s going on. Remember we’re supposed to be practicing communication, I feel like you’re failing! I try to communicate but you say nothing in return. I guess we’ll both just remain bewildered about where to go from here.

Oh Mr. West, what am I to do with you, with us, with everything?

WHAT A WEEKEND!

Oh this weekend started off right, then crazy drama came into my life; however, with the help of my wonderful family and friends my weekend became a lot better.

Friday: I got to sleep in because I had to go to my elementary school to finish decorating our class door for Red Ribbon Week and also help the substitute in the afternoon! Gosh I love my kids and I was so happy to see them! I learned through the sub how the teacher’s attitude determines how the students will work for you. I’m going to remember to always maintain a positive and fun attitude in my classroom with my future students. Anyways Fridays are ALWAYS crazy with 4th graders and after that I NEEDED to go to happy hour! It had been a really long week. I went to teacher happy hour (my favorite time of the week besides church) before going to the Texas Stars Social. It’s so weird being in Texas Stars when I’m not the president anymore. It’s also really relaxing because I just get to show up and participate instead of having to be in charge of things. The social was fun..fun people, good food, good music, fun times! **SO IN BETWEEN THE SOCIAL AND HAUNTED HOUSE I had to go home to change clothes. My roommate and I have been beefing because she either freezes me out of the house or I’m burning up. It’s fall the a/c and heat shouldn’t even be on. Anyways she leaves and I turn the heat off because it’s not needed. Sometime she returns home to cussing me out saying don’t touch the air blah blah blah. I’m like leave me alone I really want nothing to do with you and she starts cussing me out (SECOND TIME FOR THIS) about the air.**After the social we went to the haunted house..AAAHH craziness I didn’t go in, I just ran around screaming because the creatures from the haunted house kept coming out and scaring people. After the haunted house we went to one of our friend’s Halloween parties. Somehow I ended up taking more shots (Austin I KNOW you have jokes so hush…and Ziggy love me still!) BUT I had lots of fun and made it back home safely. So I was still upset about my roommate’s disrespect so I decided to take the cable box (which I pay for) out of the living room and put it in my room.

Saturday: I wake up and am still laying in bed half sleep/half awake. Banging on my door this crazy girl is talking about how she wants the cable box back. I’m like uhh it’s mine and please get away from my door. So she’s like how stupid are you I paid for the cable box and I’m still saying nooo the cable box came when the cable man put cable in our house. Turns out she’s talking about the CABLE CORD (there’s a really big difference). I throw the out there and call Ziggy, my mom, dad, and email Austin in tears because I can’t take living here anymore. I can’t take living with someone who has no respect for anyone but herself. I can’t take it! My wonderful boyfriend got upset (I think he was more upset that I was crying) and almost came down here BUT I reminded him that he had a game tomorrow and that wouldn’t work. My mom and dad comforted me and said we would figure out how to make this work. And Austin, of course, was always a good best friend even though he’s in Switzerland. DUDE COME BACK NOW!!!! So after that I got all my stuff out of the living/dining/kitchen area and placed it in my room. This is my new home now. I have pretty much everything I need and I’m only here at nighttime so it’s not really that big of deal. For the remainder of the day, I was with my lovely cohort as we set up our booth for Longhorn Halloween. Then I helped Kimmy get ready for her date . Then Kathy and I went crazy around Austin. Good times with my Kitten! And I came back home watched the remainder of the UT blowout and got ready for church.

Sunday: Church was AWESOME! The pastor talked about how to pray correctly to God. Then after church I had to go partake in Longhorn Halloween with my cohort! I got to dress up like The Grinch and decorate masks and play with little children ALL DAY! Something I’m very good at…hehe! Also the Steelers won so that was another plus because babe was happy for the remainder of the night!

This past weekend was crazy! However God put great people in my life to keep this good weekend good and also make it better. I guess I’m learning my lesson on how to deal with difficult people and also how to treat people in my future.

Well I’m off to bed! Another long day at the elementary school

XOXO! Be Blessed!

PS-Zig, ME LOVES YOU!

MY PURPOSE IN LIFE

As many of you know I have been doing a devotional since this summer that has completely changed my life for the better. I’ve grown in God very much. He’s become my best friend and a person I talk to at almost every possible moment of the day. He’s taught me about what and how he wants me to live with my life. He’s also shown me an example of how I can share His love through my spiritual gift. Now I’m at the end of my devotional and I wanted to share with my readers, what God has been doing in me these past months.

What will be the center of my life?

Jesus is and will forever be the center of my life. He will be the person that I call when I’m in times of happiness, joy, anger, puzzlement,etc.; I will be hand in hand with my best friend who is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I will worship him with a full and eager heart because he’s the only person that’s going to bring me through the good and the bad days.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philipians 4:7

What will be the character of my life?

Each day I’m going to try my best by becoming more like Christ. He made me to be like Him and I want to follow in that direction. I want to exhibit all the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I know there are some things I have to work on more than others but I’m going to do my 1000% to maintain this character.

Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. 1 Timothy 4:16

What will be the contribution of my life?

My SHAPE (spiritual gifts, heart, ability, personality, experiences) is to serve God and the world through my teaching, love, and nurturing spirit. God made me this way to touch people He wants me to go to the places in the United States where no one wants to go to. He wants me to be in the inner cities and touch a child or adult’s lives by showing God’s & my love for them. He wants me to make a change and when people ask me why I’m doing this; I will say, “to glorify and serve my Lord”.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. John 15:16a

What will be the communication of my life?

When sharing God’s love to others, I’m going to be honest and tell them my Christian story. Even though I do not think it is that great; it could help someone who identifies with the same situation. God puts people in your life for a reason and if they’re not saved; he wants you to be honest about what God has done in you to bring them to Christ. Yes I am constantly shy talking in front of people; however, I know God will speak through me and give me the words to say so that I can bring someone to Him.

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

What will be the community of my life?

I will fellowship with God’s family wherever I can find a church in whatever city I live in. I will build a community and keep people around me who will keep me accountable for all my actions. I will love God’s family as much as they love me. God’s given us church to celebrate, praise, grow, and pray to God together as ONE body.

“just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25

My life purpose is Christlikeness; my family is His church; my ministry is teaching and loving all people no matter what their backgrounds; my mission is teaching in the rough areas of the United States; my motive is the glory of God.

XOXO!

Be Blessed!

HE GETS ME!

I may be missunderstood ’cause I wouldn’t ever fake it
You’re the only one who understands my pain
Cause you get me
Doesn’t matter what they do what they think what they say
At the end of the day I’m okay anyway
’cause LORD you get me

LYRICS PROVIDED BY: ZOEGIRL

I heard this song last week while I was studying in the library and it really spoke to me. God really is the ONLY person who understands me. Probably because he made me, knows what I’m dealing with, and knows what I’m going to do so it makes since while he’s going to be the only person that will ever understand.

Hello readers!!

I haven’t updated in a LONG time (weeks actually) but school and my life has become overwhelming and blogging is usually the last thing on my mind. I do have a math blog that I use for class if you would like to see what I’m doing in my math methods class. The site address is: cutemathgirl.wordpress.com. I hope and think you might enjoy it. Our math teacher has us using loads of technology. She even forced me to get a twitter which I don’t like at all; however, as soon as this semester is closing my twitter account will also. (if you would like to know what I’m doing every second of the day, hit me up via text message …hehe)

I’m in the final round/process of the competitive teaching program I’m trying to become apart of. I feel like it’s so close I can taste but then I start thinking about how it could also be pulled out of my hands so quickly. I’m nervous, anxious, excited, happy, sad, and feeling every emotion possible. My interview is Thursday from 9-6 so please keep me in your prayers. I’m praying that God will speak through me and I will be able to express to the committee how passionate I am about teaching, changing a child’s life, and hopefully they’ll pick me to join their program. AAAAAHHH I feel like this week is going to fly by so fast just so Thursday will come. (As I’m typing I’m getting nervous all over again!)

I’ve been really hard on myself trying not to get too happy and prep myself for disappointment. However, I heard a WONDERFUL message today at Bedside Baptist (I didn’t make it to church this morning—wardrobe malfunction) and I felt like this is something God wanted me to hear. The speaker, Joel Osteen, said we can carry around a cup, bucket, barrel, or a barn of God’s blessings. It’s really up to us. God is going to bless his children above and beyond and we have to change our mind sights and yearn for all of his blessings. I’m yearning and I want them all. I’m not going to doubt what God’s going to bring me because I know it’s going to be BIG AMAZING AND PERFECT just for me! I have another song: “All Things Are Working For Me” by Fred Hammond that I listen to every day. Whenever I get discouraged I understand that everything no matter big or small, things I can and cannot see, God is working for me. I just have to continue practicing patient (which I think I’m getting a little bit better at).

I am the LORD your God,
who brought you up out of Egypt.
Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.

Psalms 81:10

God and I are continually growing each and every day. Now that my internet is working, I can complete the end of my devotion. The whole world is going to know what my purpose in life is!

Well I’m studying once again in the PCL (I cannot wait for this English Lit class to be over) and I’m about to go home so I can complete my lesson plan for tomorrow, also my stomach is growling! HAHAHA!

Be Blessed!

XOXO!

PS-And I hope the song above speaks to many of you. I often hear people say, “No one understands where I’m coming from.” Well I’m hear to testify that God does! His ears and arms are open to take you in and tell him everything that’s going wrong/right then he will comfort you in return.

He AMAZES me!

All praises to God, my heavenly Father! All blessings to him for taking care of me each day, bringing me through my hard times, celebrating with me through the good times, and just always be beside me 24/7/365.

I got another interview with this future job/career thing program that I want and I’m super excited! AAAAHHH many many prayers were answered and I just pray that God is able to get me through this interview and he’ll give me the words and actions to say. It’s all in his hands. It’s amazing what God can do when you put everything in his hands.

Well I’m off to finish my picture book unit and get ready for bed! Busy day with the fourth graders tomorrow….I <3 THEM TO PIECES!

XOXO!

BE BLESSED!